


carl sagan in space

by canobeans



Series: kh highschool au without a cool name [1]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Accidental Drug Use, But they're there if you squint, Drug Use, Gen, Highschool AU, Weed, edibles, kingdom hearts highschool au, not really that shippy, sort of a crack, vanitas is a jerk but we love him anyway party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-04-24 12:26:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19173259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canobeans/pseuds/canobeans
Summary: At least he had had the forethought to pitch his edible on his cousin before Principal Ansem and Ms. Gainsborough had searched through his belongings. Getting in-school suspension for 3 days would be better than getting busted for weed chocolate.Oh poor, naive, Vanitas.





	carl sagan in space

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the story of Josh Ovalle getting kicked out of school.

Ironic that, with all the bad things he had done, this would get Vanitas sent to the office. Probably had to do with the fact that he had been high as a kite when Mr. Eraqus had lost his shit on him. Also standing on the desk. Standing on the desk was a bit much.

But really. If his history teacher didn’t want students looking at his instagram posts, then he should probably put that shit on private.

At least he had had the forethought to pitch his edible on his cousin before Principal Ansem and Ms. Gainsborough had searched through his belongings. Getting in-school suspension for 3 days would be better than getting busted for weed chocolate.

Oh poor, naive, Vanitas.

After his stop and frisk, Vanitas was sent back out to his regularly scheduled school day with the promise of further “investigation” after school. In fact, by the time they had finished it was already lunchtime.

It didn't take long for Vanitas to track Sora down, seeing as he was surrounded by the typical gaggle of friends. He walked up to the table in a brisk manner, delivering the usual pleasantries.

"Hey Ven, it's your evil twin." Someone who he couldn't remember the name of. Zenon? Xena? Whatever.

"Fuck off geek." He looked down at Sora and said, "Gimme back my shit."

Sora looked up at him and said sheepishly. "Uh, about that…" He rubbed the back of his neck, "I kind of ate it."

Vanitas let out a defeated sigh and rubbed his eyes. "Normally, I would pulverise you but seeing as it has been a day I'll give you a family discount." He crossed his arms over his chest.

"How much did you eat?"

Sora gave him an apologetic smile. "All of it?" He replied.

Vanitas gawked at that.

"I-I can buy you a new one. Riku can drive us after school-"

"What-"

"-It's like a dollar, right-?"

"-Sora, that was an edible.

Sora looked up at him eyes wide. _"What?"_

Vanitas hoisted him up violently and said, "Look, if you don't throw up, like, right fucking now, it's gonna get **_bad_ **."

"Like my 5th birthday party **_"bad"_**? or the petting zoo **_"bad"_**?

"Both."

_"Oh sweet Jesus."_

 

Moments later, Vanitas is coaxing Sora rather demandingly over a toilet. Ven's dumb, older, goody two-shoes, "not a couple" friends standing behind him. A disapproving look on their faces. And Sora's slightly less annoying fraternal twin, Roxas, was documenting the whole thing on his phone. Great.

"This is the boy's bathroom, you know?" Vanitas angrily shot Aqua's way.

"I'm easily worth more than two men." She said matter of factly. Her face didn't change though. Roxas snorted.

Terra sighed, "Sora do you feel anything?"

"I feel-" He thought a moment, "Heh heh."

"Well this is a disaster." Roxas said trying to hold back his laughter.

Just then, the door swung open. In storms Riku. "Vanitas! What the hell did you to him?" He grabbed the shorter boy by the collar.

"Ah-! Fuck! I didn't do anything you fucking bitch!" Vanitas tore Riku's hands off his shirt. " _Your_ boyfriend here ate $40 worth of edibles."

"He _what?!_ **_You what?!_ ** _"_

"Will you fucking keep it down?" Vanitas whispered harshly. "If an administrator hears us we're in deep shit!" He looked down at Sora.

This was bad. This was very bad not good at all.

"Mom, are you mad at me?" Sora looked at Terra.

Roxas swung his phone around and zoomed in on Terra's face.

Finally, Terra replied. "I'm not mad. Just disappointed."

Sora started crying. Aqua punched Terra in the arm. Then the bell rang.

 **"Fuck."** Said everyone.

"Fuck!" Said Sora, a bit later than everyone else.

 

Class went on as normal after the group dispersed. Well, at least as normal as it could be with the predicament Vanitas was in.

It didn't really take long for things to come crashing down though.

"Vanitas." His teacher said. "They need you down at the Administrator's office." The class "ooo"ed in that annoying way they did,  and he added a couple more names to his shitlist.

He made the 5 minute walk in two minutes, trying to speed up the process as much as possible. Sure enough the usual crowd was sitting there.

Mr. Braig was sitting in the middle of the room behind the wooden desk. He would look more official had it not been for the constant smirk, the long graying hair, or the eyepatch. Vanitas thought he looked like a drug dealer pirate. Or a pirate drug dealer. Next to him was the school guidance counselor from earlier, Ms. Gainsborough, was standing next to him, albeit a good distance.

No one liked Mr. Braig.

In the corner was one of the upperclassmen Math teachers, Mr. Strife, holding an official looking clipboard.

"Ah, Vanitas! Sit down, son! We were just about to call our first witness!" Mr. Braig said, like Vanitas being in his office was the highlight of his day.

"Witness?" Vanitas asked, keeping his voice steady.

"Yes. I'm afraid we're going to need your phone back, Vanitas." Ms. Gainsborough said in her light breathy voice.

Fuck.

Vanitas slowly reached into his backpack and pulled out his smartphone, trying to delay his complete and utter destruction.

Mr. Braig must have caught onto his state of mind, because his smirk widened to an almost manic degree.

He opened his phone and went to his recent contacts.

'Sora'

_Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck-_

Ms. Gainsborough picked up the phone and dialed a class number. “Mr. Eraqus, can you please send Sora-”

 _“-He’s already on his way there now.”_ Eraqus’ voice crackled over the intercom, _“It isn’t good.”_

The woman looked confused at that.

Vanitas put his head in his hands. He was dead meat. Whatever.

What felt like an eternity later, the door opened.

Sora looked, to put it simply, _fucked_.

Vanitas looked at all the adults in the room.

“Just expelle me now.”

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> The title is from "King of the Clouds" By Panic! at the Disco


End file.
